How to handle a defiant child

There are several things that parents try when their children are defiant.  Some try ways to control their child, others read books to find new parenting styles, others give in to their child while others go to parenting specialists for professional advice and support.

There is a child behavior specialist encino who uses proven evidence-based strategies that will together with the parent plan a behavioral intervention strategy, which will work to make your home a less stressful place to be. The strategies are easy to learn but can be difficult to put into play without the guidance of a professional. The first thing the parent needs to figure out is what is causing the child to be defiant, and under what circumstances is he/she defiant.

The next thing the parent needs to figure out is what is the pay-off that the child is receiving for the behavior.  Is the child receiving a lot of negative attention when he/she is defiant?  Does the child eventually get what he/she wants from being defiant?  What does the child gain when he/she is defiant?

Once the parent has determined what is causing the behavior and what pay-off the child is receiving for using the defiant behavior, the parent moves on to the next step. This step requires the parent to figuring out how to avoid what is causing the behavior or ending the pay-off that the child is receiving that is continuing the behavior. It may not be possible to avoid the cause of the behavior, such as getting up in the morning for school, but it will be possible to change the pay-off that the child receives. For example, Johnny may defiantly say he doesn’t want to go to school and refuse to get into the car.  Most parents will react by threatening him if he doesn’t get in the car, offering rewards for getting into the car, telling him he will be late, and becoming agitated.  Johnny is being rewarded for his defiance with attention, albeit negative attention.  Johnny’s parents can stop his defiance, by going about their business and ignoring Johnny’s refusal to go to school.  When it is time to get into the car, without saying a word, they should both walk him to the car without saying anything to him and buckle him in. When Johnny no longer gets the pay-off he seeks, he will stop the behavior.

Any child behavior specialist in Encino will tell you that it is important to figure out why the child is exhibiting the behavior you don’t like and what the pay-off is for the child in order to make a plan to change the behavior and restore peace and harmony to the family.

It is hard to see the causes of your own child’s behavior and what the pay-off is that they are receiving.  A child behavior specialist encino will make the process easier for you and help you to follow through with a plan to extinguish your child’s behavior while teaching you other parenting techniques.

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